If I was to sum up the last ten years of my life as a parent in one word, it would probably be “homeschooling“. We planned to homeschool Tigger as soon as we found out we were pregnant and we’ve stuck with it from the very beginning.
But ….
Last month, we decided to put our three oldest kids in public school. Everybody gasp with me! GASP.
Like a lot of homeschooling mothers, I’ve thought about public school a few times before but this is the first time I’ve actually gone through with enrolling them. And it was hard. A lot harder than I thought it would be.
Still, I know it was the right decision for our family. For now. Here’s why I decided to take a homeschooling break.
Why I Decided to Take a Homeschooling Break
1. I was no longer a happy homeschooling mom.
For the past year and a half, I’ve been juggling homeschooling, working, and going to college full-time. During my first two semesters, my husband was unemployed, which was a huge reason why I went back to school in the first place.
This fall semester (ending this week! Yay!) has been the first time I’ve tried to juggle all three while he’s had a job. It. Has. Not. Been. Fun. I’ve been stressed for the last 15 weeks straight. I couldn’t even concentrate on teaching school to my kids, because I was so worried about my own (often rushed at the last-minute) assignments.
2. My ADHD was becoming a real problem.
I’ve always had a lot of things going at one time. I was brought up that way and I’d done it so long that I didn’t know there was another way to live. Since I have ADHD, I tend to get bored quickly and want to move on to something else.
Here’s the problem: You cannot do that when you have to take care of a home and raise children with consistent values. Boredom is not an excuse to skip lessons for a week (or a month), let dishes pile up in the sink, or overlook a tantrum. I had gotten to the point where it was either: A) put my kids in public school so I’d have a little time to clear my head or B) try medication. And, for me, medication is the absolute final last resort.
3. I didn’t want my kids to get the wrong idea of motherhood.
Most importantly, though, I began to feel that I was giving my kids the wrong perception of motherhood. Moms shouldn’t be stressed out and frazzled, because they have too much going on at once. And we certainly shouldn’t treat our kids as if they’re inconveniences, which is what was happening to me. I mean, what’s the point of keeping them home with me if I’m biting their heads off every time they ask a question?
Here is an example of an actual exchange between me and Pooh:
Pooh: *loudly from down the hall* “Mama?”
Me: *working* “WHAT?????!!!???!!!”
Pooh: “Can I….”
Me: “STOP CALLING ME! GOD!!!!!”
Pooh: *sadly* “Yes, mom.”
(I’ve since apologized. Fortunately, he’d forgotten about it. But it was not one of my proudest moments as a parent.)
That is not the mother I want to be. And I decided that being a happy mom was more important than being a homeschooling mom. Right now, I can be one or the other but not both. And my husband, wonderful supportive spouse that he is, was open to it from the beginning.
Btw, I’ll be blogging about our transition and some of the adjustments we’ve had to make along the way. And I’ll keep sharing great educational unit studies, lesson plans, printables, and more! I have Piglet with me during the day and she’ll be starting tot school soon, so I’ll have plenty to share for preschoolers in the upcoming months. Plus, I’ll be making activities and lessons to use with the kids during breaks and summer vacation. So if you’re a fan of our resources, they’re not going anywhere. 🙂
Have any of you ever considered taking a homeschooling break? What made you decide to? Or what made you decide not to? Let us know in the comments!
Selena dear, I am so sorry you have been stressed. But you must do what’s right for you and your family. I know it’s been busy for you all lately. And you know keeping that simple eye is a good thing! Perhaps you can use this time to focus on those priorities, and it’s not like you won’t be able to continue teaching the kids those things as well. I’ll keep you in my prayers, and know that you have support. But be modest and take care of first things first. Never feel guilty for that. Tell people “no” when you have to. That’s what I’m working on…well that and not letting the internet and phone distract me. Ugh, that ADHD! Let us know how the kids and you are doing. Take care, Mommas. Isaiah 41:10
After-schooling is what you are most likely going to be doing now. I did it for years. There is nothing wrong with sending your kids to traditional school. I have 3 kids that did well in those environments. Also, by all of my kids having had a traditional, private and public school experience, homeschooling my younger three in the last 2 years has made them appreciate the freedom of homeschooling. No learning option is perfect. In the traditional school model, I found I had to give my kids ‘extra’ learning by sending them to programs like Kumon or hiring a tutor to make sure that their Math and English skills stayed up to snuff because the school system would either move too fast or too slow for them. Also, Math and English seemed the be the most tested areas. Getting my kids into the Gifted – Talented programs or the Advanced programs was important because it seemed that when they weren’t in those ‘elite’ programs the kids in their classes mis-behaved more or didn’t get as many opportunities. Overall, because my oldest son was in the public school system, he was able to play sports, gain his EMT certification (for free), and I still enrolled him in Early Entrance Community College courses the summer of his 11th grade year. So, enjoy this new adventure in learning. Your kids will grow because of it and you will be able to focus on some other things (although if you have ADHD – your brain will always be working, lol).
Thanks so much, Nita. I really appreciate your encouraging words. I know it’s the best option for us right now, but it does come with its own problems, kwim? We’ll be doing plenty of “extra” learning too, I think.
My heart goes out to you Selena. You have been juggling so much and keeping it inside.
You and your husband are the ONLY ones you have to answer to.
Also, circumstances, no matter how limited the options seem at the time are temporary. You always have choices but relief comes in so many ways, even in public school.
I hope you can get some rest, care for yourself and care for your sweeties. Sometimes a break is just what we need to come back refreshed, renewed and energized.
I felt that way many times along my journey, you are not alone!
Prayers for you and your sweet family!!~
Hang in there. Things change, kids grow up and homeschooling smooths out BUT we have to take care of priorities. :o)
Forward on with your decision. You and your husband are in control of when and if you come back to homeschooling.
Thanks, Tina! I really appreciate that. It’s hard to know which decision is best and when. (Being a grown-up is hard!) But so far, it’s been a nice break. It’s also giving us a chance to teach our kids some important skills, especially how to live according to our family’s principles, even when people around you aren’t. Thanks for stopping by!
Most of my family homeschooled and I went to tiny, sweet private schools. i always thought i would homeschool my kids but they both ended up perfect fits for public school (my son needed the services and, my daughter needed the constant activity and people, people, people), which is lucky because I don’t have the resources for private and was a single mom for a long time and then married a chef who is rarely around. It’s all me all the time on weekends and most days so…That scenario where you apologized sounds familiar if i don’t get tiny breaks…I support your decision wholeheartedly and wish you well…Will check back in!
Love,
Thank you so much! And yes, that “on-shift all the time” thing is sooooo draining. Unhappy moms make for unhappy kids, and we definitely need time to regroup.
There is nothing wrong with taking a break. You totally deserve it. I understand. I’m being swallowed up with full time college myself and its taking its toll. I’ve revamped our cleaning schedule so everyone does a little bit every single day. The house isn’t perfect but its manageable. I’ve also found my self in those cringe-worthy moments of getting frustrated when they interrupt my homework. Like you’ve I’ve apologized and am working through it. I’ve toyed with the public school thing but with hubby still on active duty and stationed in another state it just doesn’t work for us. There are times he’d be home (or my parents would visit from out of state) and the kids would have to be in school all day long. I’m not willing to sacrifice that time with him. I’m also halfway done….so the light at the end of teh tunnel is approaching.
I think your decision is just right for your family. Homeschooling is a journey. You’ve given your children a solid foundation and they will certainly do well in school.
I look forward to reading about your adventures.
By the way, what are you studying in school?
Thanks, Michelle! It’s really meant a lot to me that so many readers are understanding of our decision. 🙂 And, yes, college should definitely be done when you’re young, single, and childless. This juggling classes, housework, and parenting thing is for the birds! LOL
Hi Selena,
First off, you are a wise and brave woman to make such a decision. I myself am a fan of drastic changes and doing what you have to do for your family. Like you said, for so long your life was centered around homeschooling so one can just imagine (like you said) that this was very difficult, and we can conclude it wasn’t a decision that was made lightly. Like Michelle wrote, you’ve given them a great foundation. And as an involved, concerned and loving mother we all know that you will be giving them the most important things in life, and providing a fun and loving environment for them at home. Homeschooling is just one way to do things, not the only way. And sometimes public school is the better way, even if just for a while. Although I love homeschooling, I’ve also found myself encouraging friends to re-enroll their kids in public school due to various circumstances, and it’s a reality check I give myself all the time. My circumstances can change any day as well. And for that matter, I applaud you for being so open about it and sharing your journey. Your example can give many other mothers in similar situations the courage to make those changes and do what’s right for their family as well. Now you have given the “homeschooling community” another great resource and mentor in the case they need to make that choice as well.
You’ve done a great job, Mama, and I’m sure you’ll find that you have more support than you’ve imagined. (And I apologize about my last attempt to comment; it was 2 or 3 in the morning, I was sleep deprived for two nights, and I realize my comment was very vague and sort of…?? Lol, but I do sincerely hope you get this one. Please take care and we look forward to keeping up with you and the family.)
Ha! It wasn’t vague at all. I just didn’t get around to approving it until today. Finals week is the worst week ever in the history of mankind…lol.
Yes, it’s been a hard transition, but things are settling down and the kids are learning quite a lot, so that’s good. Homeschooling shouldn’t feel like an obligation, kwim? Once it does, all the joy is gone. And that’s where I was. I’m definitely looking forward to going back to it after things settle down here. I miss being the “fun” school teacher! 🙂
Finals?! Yikes! Well hopefully relief is coming your way. And I went back and read my original comment…yeah not vague, I’m sure you knew what I was saying. I’ve been sick in bed with flu and asking myself “What was I saying?!” atleast a couple times a day, lol! Good to hear from you.
Howzabout Finals plus a Nor-easter??? Wheeeeee…
Thank you so much for sharing transparently with your readers. I know how you feel and that is why I haven’t fully transitioned to homeschooling yet. I’ve been juggling school, work, marriage, chores, and being a care-giver for quite a while.
I commend you for doing what is best for you and your family at this time. I’d like to know more about your experience with enrolling back into public school after being homeschooled. I plan to start homeschooling either next February or next school-year. Do the kids need to take placement tests? Did they take state standardized tests as homeschoolers? Please elaborate when you get some free time 😉 Thank you!
Hi! I’m actually writing a post about our experience with PS now. It’s going to be a series here. 🙂
We’re in Georgia, so our enrollment experience may be a bit different than yours, btw. Our kids didn’t take placement tests. The school board asked me what grade they were in and we went from there. Now, we have had some serious adjustments, especially for our fourth grader, since Common Core is a very different approach to math than she was used to. She took the PASS exam last year for third grade, but our other kids did not. So this year will be the first experience for our oldest two with the CRCT, which is the state standardized test here in GA. They’re doing their first benchmark tests next week. Fun!
I’ll be writing more about all of these things in the series. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!