I haven’t shared a personal post on here in quite a while, so I thought I’d let you all know about something that’s been on my heart lately.
When I hear people speak about motherhood and/or homeschooling, one of the words I hear the most is “sacrifice”. Quite often, I’ve heard people mention some of these sacrifices, which could include giving up a career (for some mothers), accepting the physical changes in your body (for most mothers), and sharing your time everyday (for every single mother on earth).
If you’re homeschooling, you’ll have even more sacrifices, which might involve living on a smaller income, learning to teach subjects in which you did not excel as a student, and adapting to the learning needs of your children.
But there’s another sacrifice that I’m having to make as a mother: I have to give up my feelings. Now I don’t mean my feelings about my kids, of course. But I’m having to let go of how I feel about a lot of other things so that I have room for my feelings toward my kids to grow.
Here’s what I’ve discovered about the real sacrifice of motherhood.
The Real Sacrifice of Motherhood
Before I had kids, I used to have an opinion about nearly everything under the sun.
Did that celebrity have plastic surgery?
Should the U.S. Individual Income Tax code be changed?
Is it impolite when someone holds the door open and no one says “Thank you?” (Yes, it is, by the way.)
I voiced these opinions to almost everyone I could find and I’d muster up some pretty strong emotions about all of these topics and others.
It wasn’t just small things like these, either. I had some pretty strong opinions about things that have happened in my life. I was angry about the injustices I’d experienced. I was frustrated, because so many issues had gone unresolved. And I was sad that I missed out on developing long-lasting friendships during my youth.
As I get closer to my kids, though, I’m finding that there is just no room for these feelings to continue taking up space in my heart. I’m at a point where I can either love my kids or hold onto to all those other feelings. And it’s no contest. My kids win.
Psalm 62:8 says “Trust in him at all times, O people. Pour out your hearts before him. God is a refuge for us.” (New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures) I’ve decided to take that counsel seriously and deposit all of my unresolved feelings with Jehovah God in prayer. I know that He wants me to be the best mother I can be, and I know that He will support me if I’m willing to make this sacrifice for my children.
So, that’s where I am today. But I’d love to know what sacrifices you’ve made to become mothers and/or homeschooling mothers. Feel free share your experiences below.
Selena,
Thank you for your post as it is a wonderful reminder of the blessing the Lord has entrusted to us in educating our children—something I continuously remind myself daily when I question whether I have sacrificed too much. My husband and I made the decision for me to stay home to raise our children while he worked and I really did not understand how much of a sacrifice this actually meant. For a long time I was resentful but through prayer I have come to be very thankful for this opportunity to educate and raise my children.
Hey Leigh! Thanks for sharing! Giving up a career is a huge sacrifice and sometimes it can feel as if it’s something we’re “supposed to do”. But it can be an enormous adjustment, especially if we like working or if we’ve worked for a long time. (I know from experience.) Prayer definitely helps us readjust our priorities. 🙂
That’s a good point. I do tend to hold onto my opinions a little too tightly sometimes. 😉 I think my biggest “sacrifice” has just been…..my schedule. My routine. My sleep. 😉 I LOVE being a Mom though. I prayed that God would give us a baby and our son is such a joy!!
-Bonnie (stopping by from Babies and Beyond 🙂 )
Thanks for visiting! And yes, giving up our typical routine is definitely a sacrifice. I had no idea I valued alone time so much until I didn’t have it anymore! 🙂
I think one of the sacrifices is learning to look outside ourselves, to stop being selfish, and start considering others as a priority. This usually happens naturally for parents…but it really would be beneficial to extend the same grace and compassion to other relationships in our lives too (i.e. spouse, relatives)
I agree completely. We should be unselfish in our daily lives, but with kids, it takes a special kind of unselfishness. There’s no job in the world where you are required to give of yourself 24/7 and that’s one of the things I was least prepared for. But when I slow down and truly focus on the kids, I find that I get back more than I give.
Thanks so much for visiting! 🙂
Great thoughts. Thank you for sharing. I think about motherhood sacrifices and a lot of them weren’t really a big deal to me. I have never considered it a sacrifice to give up my career or body. Probably the most difficult sacrifice for me, in this journey of motherhood, is giving without receiving. My children give me so much love my heart could burst, but I sacrifice my time and attention continually, day in and day out, the serve them and their needs. It’s a privilege to do it for them but it certainly isn’t easy. I cling to the fact that Jesus came to serve, not to be served, and I need (want) to follow in His footsteps. So I serve my children, my family, every day. With a joyful heart. Usually 😉
This is so, so true. And having a continually joyful heart is a big challenge. But you’re right. That’s the example Jesus set and we can follow his footsteps when we rely on God’s power. I think my biggest problems arise when I try to do it myself…lol.
I like this thought. I’ve never really thought about it this way and am going to mull on this for a bit. I’d agree that as a mom, I’ve discovered there is less time to hold on to stuff that just isn’t as important as my kids and life now, and I certainly have less time to have an opinion on everything – but I make sure to still advocate where I can on issues I think are important. I don’t think that’s quite what you mean – but I’m a bit fuzzy on where opinion and advocating for causes end and begin and I’ve struggled a bit to find time/stay informed on issues I once knew a lot about now that I’m a mother.
Thanks for this.
Absolutely. Finding that balance is so difficult. But I agree that having my kids has caused to narrow down on what’s truly important. A lot of things I cared about before were pretty trivial…lol. Thanks for visiting!
Awesome job raising four kiddos! So lovely to hear that someone is really embracing the role of mother and not complaining. Not that we shouldn’t be able to complain. But- it’s obvious that you feel more thankful than anything else for your mommyhood. Blessings to you~
Well, sometimes I do complain…lol. We don’t have much family support and we have several kids with ADHD, so that can be a challenge. But when I get irritated, I take a break and try to remember all the blessings we’ve received, including our kids. That generally brings me back to calm. Well, that and a brownie. 🙂 Thanks for visiting!
I love this post! Sharing on social media. 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
I love your post and the verse you use is a favorite of mine. I struggle with my thoughts and feelings all the time. Thanks for reminding me to trust in God for His help. BTW: I found you @ Thoughtful Thursdays on creativekkids!