Yep, I said it. I’m holding my child back a grade this year. And I don’t feel bad in the least for doing it. The interesting thing is – I’m not required to do this. She didn’t fail a test that resulted in her having to repeat a grade. She’s not exceptionally behind on anything. In fact, she’s probably ahead on several subjects, especially reading and language. So, why am I choosing to repeat a grade with her?
It’s mostly because of me. Last year was a very trying one in our homeschool. My husband’s employer suddenly became extremely demanding, requiring him to work 12-hour swing shifts five or six days a week. For about three or four months straight, he actually worked more than 70 hours weekly. To make things more difficult, I was also working full-time from home. To complicate matters further, we found out we were pregnant with Piglet, who was a wonderful gift but also a completely unexpected one.
As a result, I wasn’t as prepared for the school year as I would liked to have been. Third grade is a pretty important year for kids. It’s a marked transition from the seatwork of early grades to the critical thinking requirements of upper elementary grades. I don’t feel that Tigger is as prepared as she could be to move on beyond that and I have no desire to thrust her into that situation simply to follow a certain timeline. On this matter, I’m speaking from personal experience.
When I was 11, my mom decided that it would probably be best for me to be homeschooled. I liked elementary school, but I was excited about the opportunity to learn at home on my own schedule so I was looking forward to it. I took the placement test for Calvert School and the teachers suggested that I skip sixth grade and possibly even seventh, because it appeared that I was advanced enough to do so. My mom agreed but decided that I should go ahead and take seventh grade.
That’s when I found out that a lot of important math and English skills are taught in sixth grade. I know this because when the curriculum asked me to complete a basic pre-algebra equation or to diagram a sentence, I had no idea what those concepts meant. I struggled through seventh grade and eventually finished it, but it took me two years, completely erasing any “gains” I had made by skipping sixth grade.
The good thing for Tigger is that we started her in school a year early. Based on her birthday, she would just now be going into third grade in public school as well, so she’s technically not going to be “behind.” The truth is, though, I wouldn’t mind if she was. My concern is making sure my child is prepared for what is expected of her, not turning her into a case study for gifted homeschoolers.
Have you ever thought about having your child repeat a grade? Do you even bother teaching by grades at all? I’ve love to hear what you think in the comments. Keep on learning!
No. Mainly because kids are difficient in different areas. By homeschooling I would have the choice of switching up and teaching 5th grade math/7th grade english and so forth. Also, the great thing about homeschooling is you can skip your kid a grade later. My 16yr old would be in 10th grade in public school, but I graduated her early by doing dual enrollment in Community College, giving her summer school credit, and counting some of her 8th grade advance courses. She took some classes on grade level and others above, but maintained the same grade.
That’s great to hear! I like the flexibility of homeschooling, but I find it hard to relax and just move them around as needed. We intend to homeschool through high school, but things happen. Right now, I prefer to keep them on a single grade level (when possible) so that if I have to put them in school, it won’t be a difficult adjustment. Ideally, though, homeschooling is exactly what you described above. 🙂
We held our oldest back in preschool an extra year. She wasn’t developmentally ready for kindergarten, so we start that this year. She is finally to a point where she can sit and follow directions like she needs to be to complete her work.
That makes perfect sense. If they’re not ready to follow directions, moving them on will just lead to frustration for everyone involved. Thanks for stopping by!
We haven’t officially held a child back, but my daughter has a September birthday so when she could have been in “Kindergarten” I considered PreKindergarten. This has her going into 3rd grade this year at 8, soon to be 9. I don’t regret it at all. That extra year of maturity is crucial IMO. I had an August birthday and I went to K at a fresh 5. I was always a little more immature than my friends, and hated being 17 when I graduated. I moved into college 5 days before my 18th birthday and it led to tons of paperwork for my mom. Only YOU know what is best for your child and I am sure you are making a great decision!
Thanks for sharing your experience! Emotional and social maturity are underrated, IMO. But in reality, they are just as important as mental intelligence – maybe even more important. I started college at 16 and it was a terrifying experience. I could do the work, but the day-to-day experience of working and socializing with others was a very difficult adjustment for me. It’s critical that our children are ready for everything they’ll experience.
We don’t “do” grades. We work for mastery. My kids are all over the place in their abilities. That is why I love homeschooling. They work at the level they need to and there is no one labeling them “ahead” or “behind”. We have “social” grades, for when we put them in Scouts, sports, co-ops or church groups. But there is no question of skipping or repeating grades for us. 🙂
@Laura, I’m so glad to “hear” you say that. That’s how we do it too, and I’ve always felt kind of odd about it. Everyone else seems to be so wrapped around the idea of having to “be” in a grade. I never really know how to answer people when they ask what grade my daughters (5, 6, and 14) are in. I guess I’m saying that it’s just nice to have someone else doing things the same way as us. 🙂
I’m giving you a virtual high five!
I love that relaxed approach. I’m always concerned about keeping them at a single level because I worry about “What if they have to go to school someday?” It’s our goal to homeschool through high school, but life happens. I wish I could be that laid back about it all! 🙂
I was held back at about the same time as, and I think it was a good choice that my parents made as well. It will be fine. (hugs)
I enjoy your blog and wanted to share the Super Sweet Blog Award with you! Please follow this link for the award. This is not spam! 🙂 http://www.gardentenders.blogspot.com/2013/07/super-sweet.html
Thanks for the encouragement and the Super Sweet Award! Off to nominate some of my favorites. 🙂
Isn’t that a lovely thing about HE? You can ensure that your children have a strong foundation upon which to take them forward. It’s nice that you have had experience in both ‘school’ and HE so you can help provide that balance.
Thanks! I truly appreciate that part of homeschooling. If Tigger was in school, she’d probably have been encouraged to study very hard for the CRCT and then get bumped into fourth grade based on her test scores alone. The only problem is: cramming for a test does not equal learning. We want to make sure she is truly learning what she needs to know and we’ll make whatever adjustments we need to reach that objective.
We had a similar school year. Homeschooling gives the freedom to make changes for betterment of our kids…thanks for sharing.
By the time our 3rd child was approaching ‘school’ age, I had stopped thinking about grade levels (mostly). I did make the decision to slow one daughter down in math at about the 6th grade level because she needed more mastering in the fundamentals. After spending a year on some really basic mathematics, she leaped ahead to where other kids her age were studying.
Another daughter seemed to be having a hard time grasping many things at around what would be 3rd or 4th grade level, so we moved ever so slowly forward, stretching out 1 year worth of material into 2. And then by ‘6th grade’ age she was ready and mature enough to jump up to material more typical of others her age.
Isn’t it wonderful we have the freedom to customize how and when and what our children learn? Sounds like you are doing a great job, Mom!
Absolutely. And Tigger is the same way. She’ll struggle with a math concept that I would think is easy and then the next week, I’ll show her a simple algebraic expression that she grasps immediately! We all learn at different paces and in different ways, which is what makes homeschooling so wonderful.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Seeing how things can all of a sudden, out of the blue, just click really helped me relax as a homeschool mom. I don’t put near as much pressure on myself or my children as much as I did in our early years.
Keep up the good work!
i thought one of the joys of homeschooling is that one didn’t need to focus on what grade a child was in, and therefore avoid the stigma of such things. Let children learn as they are able.
I agree with that mindset, but we try to make sure that our children remain as close as possible to their grade level. We don’t know what the future holds and there may come a time when we have to put our kids in PS. If that was to happen, we would not want them to have to take remedial classes or be held back. We’re also required to do standardized testing in our state every three years, so keeping up with grade levels to some degree is important for testing purposes.
Thanks for visiting!
I’m curious now how this year has gone for you and for your daughter. I love that in homeschooling we can keep things at a pace that is right for the child. I really don’t know where I would consider my daughters. My oldest should be going into 2nd grade, but we are making our way through My Father’s World 1st grade. We took two years to do K, not because she was behind, but because I am trying to keep my daughters together in our main curriculum. So right now my younger daughter is right on with her grade in MFW. While I have been keeping them together in this (for sanity and financial reasons) I have been supplementing in reading, grammar and math to give my daughter what she needs. I still consider her going into 2nd grade this year.