parenting support Archives

30 Ways to Be a Happier Mom

May 15, 2018 by Selena Robinson 2 Comments

Parenting. It’s both the sweetest and hardest job in the world.

There isn’t a day when I don’t love my children – all four of them. But there are definitely days when I feel a little burned out on the routine of it.

There is so much giving involved in parenting that you can start to feel all given out, in a way. After all, there are only so many pieces of us moms available.

On days when I’m in need of some parenting pick-me-ups, I like to read suggestions from fellow moms who “get it”. And that’s why I’ve rounded up these 30 ways to be a happier mom to share with those of you who are feeling a little burned out too.

I hope these give you a little parenting inspiration! And, if you’re feeling burned out on homeschooling, read what I do when homeschooling feels like too much.

Images c/o: bst2012 and pixelheadphoto / depositphotos

30 Ways to Be a Happier Mom

1. Five Ways to Show Love to Your Defiant Child – Look! We’re Learning!

2. How to See Beauty in the Mess of Parenting – What’s Up Fagans

3. 11 Tips for Being a Good Mom – Little Sprouts Learning

4. How to Teach Preschoolers to Cooperate – Days with Grey

5. How to Encourage Autonomy in Kids – Mosswood Connections

6. 2 Family Rules to Become a Better Parent – Coffee and Carpools

7. How to Listen to Your Inner Voice As a Mom – Mama Instincts

8. Why You are the Perfect Mom for Your Kids – The Soccer Mom Blog

9. How to Run an Efficient Home – Empowered Single Moms

10. How to Be a More Patient Mom – The Moments at Home

11. What to Do When Your Tween Shuts You Out – Look! We’re Learning!

12. 7 Ways to Be a More Peaceful Mom – Kid Minds

13. 7 Powerful Ways to Turn a Parenting Day Around – Little Sprouts Learning

14. How to Raise Siblings Who Get Along – Mama Smiles

15. 5 Steps to a Positive Bedtime Routine for Kids – Kiddy Charts

16. How to Inspire a Culture of Family Togetherness – Kara Carrero

17. 10 Ways to Spend Quality Time with Your Child – Fireflies and Mudpies

18. How to Give Kids Quality Time – Sloely

19. How to Reset When Family Travel Goes Wrong – Bambini Travel

20. How to Overcome Mommy Anger – What’s Up Fagans

21. How to Slow Down Parenting In a Sped-Up World – Look! We’re Learning!

22. How to Reclaim the Joy of Motherhood – Kori at Home

23. How to Manage Time with the Kids – Simple Everyday Mom

24. How to Stop Yelling – Parenting from the Heart

25. 7 Habits of Good Enough Parents – Sloely

26. 15 Ways to Be a Fun Mom When You’re Stressed – The Moments at Home

27. How to Become a Parenting Team – Bambini Travel

28. How to Grow as a Mother – Fireflies and Mudpies

29. Tips for Parenting with Compassion – Kori at Home

30. How to Discipline Without Getting Angry – What’s Up Fagans

Did you like these ways to be a happier mom? Don’t miss these other parenting tips!

Get more parenting pointers on my Parenting with Joy Pinterest board!

Slowed Down Parenting in a Sped Up World

October 30, 2017 by Selena Robinson Leave a Comment

Did you know that the Earth rotates at a speed of about 1000 miles an hour? I remember learning that in school and thinking “It doesn’t feel like it’s going that fast to me!”

Fast forward 25 years and I think it feels like it’s at least that fast, maybe faster. Maybe I just needed to be an adult to realize it.

Have you noticed that life just moves faster than it used to? We have the privilege of homeschooling our children, which gives us a lot of flexibility regarding our schedule. But even with our own daily routine, it still feels as if the days are just flying by.

Sunday evening is like the climb up a steep drop on a wooden roller coaster and from Monday morning on, it’s like we’re heading down at top speed and I’m just trying to hold on until the end.

That is not the life I intended for my children. I don’t want them flying through the years, only to look back on their childhood as a thrill ride that went by too fast.

So I’m committing to learn how to parent with intention – slowing down our parenting, even though the world is speeding up. Here’s how.

Images c/o: Wavebreakmedia / depositphotos

How to Parent with Intention in a Fast-Paced World

Scale back.

Many of us, homeschooling parents included, are simply doing too much. I’m living with ADD and I tend to take on way too much: too many work assignments, too many interests, too many homeschooling activities. It’s no wonder that I started feeling frazzled a few years into my life as a mom.

Late last year, I decided to see how it felt to scale back. Instead of saying “Yes” to every opportunity that came along, I started saying “No” – just to try it. Guess what? It felt fabulous. I found out that my days with my four children are already pretty full and didn’t need to be crowded with more.

Sit down.

Something else happened when I scaled back. I found that I had more time to sit down with my children. Instead of just overseeing what they did, I starting sitting with them to see what they were learning, how they felt about it, and what it inspired them to do.

I also started sitting down for more relaxed activities with them: reading, playing, drawing, crafting – all things that I thought I was too busy to do before. After the initial disbelief (“Mom? You’re actually doing this with us?), they started talking to me more openly about their interests and feelings. It was like getting to know them on another level.

Stay close.

My oldest daughter is in the throes of tweenhood and she’s feeling apprehensive about entering the next stage of her life. She’s worried about transitioning to high school, choosing a career, navigating her life among her peers, and deciding who she actually wants to be in life.

She’s been a little…difficult during this time. And it’s seemed like she doesn’t want my input, help, or advice as she prepares for this part of life. But I’m learning to stay close, to remain nearby – always available, always supportive, always reassuring. Because of that, she’s opening up to me more, inviting me into her life. If I had been too busy to scale back or sit down, I would have missed the signs of her budding independence and how I needed to adapt to it.

How do you keep your family close, even when life gets busy? Do you have any tips for how to parent with intention? Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments!

Don’t miss these other parenting tips!

And see even more tips for a happy family life on my Parenting with Joy Pinterest board!

What to Do When Your Tween Shuts You Out

September 21, 2017 by Selena Robinson Leave a Comment

You ask your tween “What’s wrong”?” She looks down and away from you. Replies “Nothing.” You say “No, there’s definitely something. You can tell me about it. What’s going on?” She responds “Nothing! Why do you keep asking me about it?” before folding her arms and retreating to her room.

If you’re nodding along as you read this exchange, then congratulations! You’re probably parenting a tween too!

My husband and I have four children, but we are in the midst of parenting our very first-ever tween. And when I say that it is a learning experience, please believe that we are the ones getting the education.

I remember catching an attitude with my mother on a handful of occasions, but she was of a different generation. (The generation that hoped you would call the cops on them.) So her method of handling attitude problems was… different than the one we’re trying with our kids.

As a result, parenting tweens has been a brand new experience for my husband and me. After beating my head against a wall for weeks, we’re finally starting to see some improvement. Which is why I thought I’d share some things I’ve found that work when your tween shuts you out.

Having some issues with a younger child? Don’t miss these tips for how to show love to a defiant child!

Image c/o: duplass / depositphotos

What to Do When Your Tween Shuts You Out

Don’t take it personally.

First, try not to take her attitude personally. She may direct the bulk of her attitude toward you, but a lot of times, you just happen to be nearby at the time. And worse – you’re actively trying to find out how she feels, which may not be a topic she wants to discuss.

I kept thinking “she’s doing this just to bother me” or “she just wants to see me get upset”, but that’s not really true. Very, very few kids are malicious toward their parents. They’re just a little self-centered, which is normal. Before you reach out, try to check your own emotions at the door.

Share their world.

Your tween has plenty on her mind – from schoolwork (a big one) to her favorite movies or songs to the opposite sex (which may be a new and unnerving interest). Try to take an active interest in what she likes, even if she doesn’t talk about it.

For example, if your child is listening to a song, ask about it in a positive way. “Who’s that by?” “That’s a great song. I like it! Does that artist have any other songs you like?” Please, please, please don’t say something like “What’s that junk? That doesn’t sound like music! We had real songs in my day!” Just don’t. If she’s open to sharing more, sit down and listen. If not, give it time and don’t push.

Be patient.

Which brings me to the third thing to remember when your tween shuts you out: be patient. Your tween needs a lot of time to process her feelings and thoughts. Pressuring her to talk about them right away can make her more confused and frustrated. Give her time to decide how she feels and what she wants to share and then be willing to listen to it all, no matter how strange, halting, or uncomfortable it sounds.

Once she starts to open up, be receptive to it all or she may retreat behind her wall of silence again. That’s the last thing we want.

How do you handle it when your tween shuts you out or tries the silent treatment? What do you do to let them know you’re still there for them? Share your expertise in the comments!

Don’t miss these other parenting posts!

Plus, get more tips for thriving as parents on my Parenting with Joy Pinterest board!

How Do You Do It? – Confessions of a Fake Supermom

May 30, 2017 by Selena Robinson 2 Comments

Being a mom in the 21st century is pretty exhausting. It’s true that our mothers and our grandmothers had fewer modern conveniences than we did, but they also had much, much lower expectations. No one expected them to try to “do it all”.

Yet, most of us moms live under that expectation EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Personally, I get sick of it. And what’s worse is that people think I actually live up to it!

Whenever I’m out with my kids, I get asked “How do you do it?” Friends ask me that. Family members ask me that. Even perfect strangers stop in the middle of Aisle 9 of the grocery store to ask me that!

Well, here’s a newsflash: I don’t do it all, I’m not good at everything I do, and I’m not always a happy mama to my kids. In short, if you’re looking for a perfect mom to admire, then I have to confess: I’m a fake supermom!

Image c/o: cboswell / depositphotos

Confessions of a Fake Supermom

Confession #1: I Really Don’t Do It All

I do homeschool my children. I do work (both outside and inside the home). And I do work out. So if you’re just outside looking in, it can really seem like I’m doing “it all”. Well, I’m not.

I use a lot of online homeschooling resources to ease the amount of time I spend teaching the kids. We also use a year-round school schedule that allows us to have school lessons three days a week only, which gives me a lot of flexibility.

My employer is very understanding and allows me to get most of my work done from home virtually. Without that concession, there’s no way I could have a job outside the home. My online work is also flexible. If it weren’t, I wouldn’t be doing it.

And I do work out, but not as much as I’d like to and not in the kinds of activities I’d like to. I wish I could attend gym classes regularly, lift weights more often, and take up more sports. But I just don’t have time for all of that. Maybe in a few years.

If any of you have pictured me as an all-day homeschool teacher with two full-time jobs on the side who’s in perfect shape, I have to burst your bubble and tell you it’s not so. I’ve learned how to do some of everything I want to do. But I can’t do it all. No one can.

Confession #2: I’m Really Not Good at Everything

With all of these interests, I must be a jack of all trades, right? Wrong!

I have ADD, which means that I get interested in all kinds of things. Almost on a monthly basis. And while that keeps my life interesting, it also makes it very difficult to stick with something long enough to truly master it. So I end up being kind of okay at a lot of things, but great at almost nothing.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to force myself to finish what I start, which has drastically reduced the number of interests I have. But I’m not good at everything I do and I may never be. Which is just fine.

Confession #3: I’m Not a Happy Mom Everyday

By nature, I’m a pretty sunny person. I tend to be positive and upbeat…for the most part. But parenting is hard, even when you’re a naturally happy soul. And there are days when I feel so sad I can barely stand to get up in the morning.

I don’t talk about it a lot, because it doesn’t change anything and because I know it will pass. Complaining doesn’t help me much. I still have to be a mom and I have to keep going, whether I feel like it or not. But the fact that I don’t vent a lot doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. I do.

In fact, I think that might be something I talk about more on the blog. What do you think?

If you’ve been struggling trying to make yourself live up to some perfect image of a superwoman or supermom, let me reassure you of this: There are no supermoms. Every mother who looks like one isn’t really one. Which means you don’t have to try to be that either. Take it from me: an honest-to-goodness fake supermom!

Need more parenting tips for the real mom life?

And get more support on my Parenting with Joy Pinterest board!