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3 Ways to Teach Kids to Be Kind Online

October 29, 2018 by Selena Robinson Leave a Comment

If you’ve been noticing that the tone of online messages seems more negative than it used to be, you’re not imagining it. And, worse, it’s greatly affecting our children.

When we teach our kids how to be kind online, we not only stop the spread of negativity on the Internet; we actively promote good citizenship – something that can help protect our children from Internet bullying.

Disclosure: As a member of the Forward Influence Network, I am being compensated by the sponsor for this post.

Is bullying a real problem for our kids? Absolutely.

According to the latest figures, 28% of students have been bullied and 71% have seen bullying happen, including online.

The best way to prevent bullying and equip our kids on how to handle it is to teach them about kindness at home. When we show them how to be good citizens (in real life and online), we can help stop bullying in its tracks.

And that’s why I’m excited to share three ways to teach kids to be kind online and to introduce a brand new (and free!) program to help parents and teachers equip children against Internet bullying.

Take a look at how this curriculum can help kids become good online citizens!

Images c/o: AllaSerebrina & Guas / depositphotos

3 Ways to Teach Kids to Be Kind Online

Model kindness for the kids to see.

We can’t expect children to be kind online if they don’t see us behaving with kindness on the Internet or in real life. Let them see you comment positively on a news story.

Talk about the events and people you interact with in a positive manner. Try to avoid talking about negative online reports when possible.

Another way to model kindness is to teach children about how to be “Upstanders”. Since so many children witness bullying, it’s important for them to learn what to do when they see it.

Becoming an “Upstander” – someone who stands up for peers who are being bullied – can do a lot to stop bullying when it happens.

Talk with your children about how they can safely come to the aid of a classmate or friend who is being bullied. Try a few role-playing scenarios to help them brainstorm how to get the help of a responsible adult or other peers as well.

Encourage them to visit positive and uplifting media sources.

Many Internet bullies hang out around negative or viral media sources. To encourage kids to think positively, show them how to find uplifting media sources and talk about what they see there.

When we give our children positive things to think about, we make it easier for them to spot bullying when they see it and respond in a kind and appropriate manner.

Show them how to be thoughtful online.

An especially helpful resource for modeling kindness online is Be Internet Awesome, a comprehensive curriculum from Google that helps educators and parents show students how to be good Internet citizens. This program features plenty of class activities you can use with kids at school or home that encourage kind words and acts, even on the Internet.

Want to make learning about Internet kindness fun? Let the kids play Interland, where they can make their way through Kind Kingdom, a virtual environment that shows them how to make thoughtful decisions when interacting with others.

Social Media Notes of Kindness

A simple way to be kind online is to be complimentary. If your children are allowed to use social media, let them download a few of these kindness notes to share with their friends!

Sending a quick note of kindness can do a lot to spread positivity. Plus, your children’s friends can share them too!

Just right-click and download each image to save it to your computer.

Looking for more ways to connect with your kids?

And get more tips for raising a happy family on my Parenting with Joy Pinterest board!

30 Ways to Be a Happier Mom

May 15, 2018 by Selena Robinson 2 Comments

Parenting. It’s both the sweetest and hardest job in the world.

There isn’t a day when I don’t love my children – all four of them. But there are definitely days when I feel a little burned out on the routine of it.

There is so much giving involved in parenting that you can start to feel all given out, in a way. After all, there are only so many pieces of us moms available.

On days when I’m in need of some parenting pick-me-ups, I like to read suggestions from fellow moms who “get it”. And that’s why I’ve rounded up these 30 ways to be a happier mom to share with those of you who are feeling a little burned out too.

I hope these give you a little parenting inspiration! And, if you’re feeling burned out on homeschooling, read what I do when homeschooling feels like too much.

Images c/o: bst2012 and pixelheadphoto / depositphotos

30 Ways to Be a Happier Mom

1. Five Ways to Show Love to Your Defiant Child – Look! We’re Learning!

2. How to See Beauty in the Mess of Parenting – What’s Up Fagans

3. 11 Tips for Being a Good Mom – Little Sprouts Learning

4. How to Teach Preschoolers to Cooperate – Days with Grey

5. How to Encourage Autonomy in Kids – Mosswood Connections

6. 2 Family Rules to Become a Better Parent – Coffee and Carpools

7. How to Listen to Your Inner Voice As a Mom – Mama Instincts

8. Why You are the Perfect Mom for Your Kids – The Soccer Mom Blog

9. How to Run an Efficient Home – Empowered Single Moms

10. How to Be a More Patient Mom – The Moments at Home

11. What to Do When Your Tween Shuts You Out – Look! We’re Learning!

12. 7 Ways to Be a More Peaceful Mom – Kid Minds

13. 7 Powerful Ways to Turn a Parenting Day Around – Little Sprouts Learning

14. How to Raise Siblings Who Get Along – Mama Smiles

15. 5 Steps to a Positive Bedtime Routine for Kids – Kiddy Charts

16. How to Inspire a Culture of Family Togetherness – Kara Carrero

17. 10 Ways to Spend Quality Time with Your Child – Fireflies and Mudpies

18. How to Give Kids Quality Time – Sloely

19. How to Reset When Family Travel Goes Wrong – Bambini Travel

20. How to Overcome Mommy Anger – What’s Up Fagans

21. How to Slow Down Parenting In a Sped-Up World – Look! We’re Learning!

22. How to Reclaim the Joy of Motherhood – Kori at Home

23. How to Manage Time with the Kids – Simple Everyday Mom

24. How to Stop Yelling – Parenting from the Heart

25. 7 Habits of Good Enough Parents – Sloely

26. 15 Ways to Be a Fun Mom When You’re Stressed – The Moments at Home

27. How to Become a Parenting Team – Bambini Travel

28. How to Grow as a Mother – Fireflies and Mudpies

29. Tips for Parenting with Compassion – Kori at Home

30. How to Discipline Without Getting Angry – What’s Up Fagans

Did you like these ways to be a happier mom? Don’t miss these other parenting tips!

Get more parenting pointers on my Parenting with Joy Pinterest board!

Slowed Down Parenting in a Sped Up World

October 30, 2017 by Selena Robinson Leave a Comment

Did you know that the Earth rotates at a speed of about 1000 miles an hour? I remember learning that in school and thinking “It doesn’t feel like it’s going that fast to me!”

Fast forward 25 years and I think it feels like it’s at least that fast, maybe faster. Maybe I just needed to be an adult to realize it.

Have you noticed that life just moves faster than it used to? We have the privilege of homeschooling our children, which gives us a lot of flexibility regarding our schedule. But even with our own daily routine, it still feels as if the days are just flying by.

Sunday evening is like the climb up a steep drop on a wooden roller coaster and from Monday morning on, it’s like we’re heading down at top speed and I’m just trying to hold on until the end.

That is not the life I intended for my children. I don’t want them flying through the years, only to look back on their childhood as a thrill ride that went by too fast.

So I’m committing to learn how to parent with intention – slowing down our parenting, even though the world is speeding up. Here’s how.

Images c/o: Wavebreakmedia / depositphotos

How to Parent with Intention in a Fast-Paced World

Scale back.

Many of us, homeschooling parents included, are simply doing too much. I’m living with ADD and I tend to take on way too much: too many work assignments, too many interests, too many homeschooling activities. It’s no wonder that I started feeling frazzled a few years into my life as a mom.

Late last year, I decided to see how it felt to scale back. Instead of saying “Yes” to every opportunity that came along, I started saying “No” – just to try it. Guess what? It felt fabulous. I found out that my days with my four children are already pretty full and didn’t need to be crowded with more.

Sit down.

Something else happened when I scaled back. I found that I had more time to sit down with my children. Instead of just overseeing what they did, I starting sitting with them to see what they were learning, how they felt about it, and what it inspired them to do.

I also started sitting down for more relaxed activities with them: reading, playing, drawing, crafting – all things that I thought I was too busy to do before. After the initial disbelief (“Mom? You’re actually doing this with us?), they started talking to me more openly about their interests and feelings. It was like getting to know them on another level.

Stay close.

My oldest daughter is in the throes of tweenhood and she’s feeling apprehensive about entering the next stage of her life. She’s worried about transitioning to high school, choosing a career, navigating her life among her peers, and deciding who she actually wants to be in life.

She’s been a little…difficult during this time. And it’s seemed like she doesn’t want my input, help, or advice as she prepares for this part of life. But I’m learning to stay close, to remain nearby – always available, always supportive, always reassuring. Because of that, she’s opening up to me more, inviting me into her life. If I had been too busy to scale back or sit down, I would have missed the signs of her budding independence and how I needed to adapt to it.

How do you keep your family close, even when life gets busy? Do you have any tips for how to parent with intention? Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments!

Don’t miss these other parenting tips!

And see even more tips for a happy family life on my Parenting with Joy Pinterest board!

5 Ways to Show Love to Your Defiant Child

November 16, 2015 by Selena Robinson 13 Comments

I tell my son to go to his room. Instead of walking down the hall, he stands rooted to the ground, yelling that he won’t go. When I turn to walk away, he rushes at me, grabbing my arms and trying to force me to look at him.

Sound familiar?

Welcome to the world of parenting a defiant child.

Do you have a child that seems to enjoy resisting your parental authority? Does he seem to do the exact opposite of what he’s told – almost every single time? Does it appear that she likes to see you get upset?

One of our children, who shall remain nameless, tends to be defiant. I can vouch for the fact that it tests every moral fiber a parent has. But we’ve found that one of the best methods for approaching defiance in our children is by showing them love. It really works!

So, here are 5 ways to show love to your defiant child. If you’re at your wit’s end, these tips may help you reconnect with your child, even when he or she is defiant.

Image: Laurent Hamels / Dollar Photo Club

5 Ways to Show Love to Your Defiant Child

1. Try to understand his frustration.

Sometimes a child who appears to be defiant may be experiencing extreme frustration. Your challenge is to find out why. Before you ask questions (see tip #3), try to understand what may be happening.

Is he upset with a sibling? Could he feel that a situation is unfair? Is he exhausted, hungry, or disappointed? Trying to see things from his standpoint can give you a lot of insight into his behavior.

2. Show physical affection.

Physical affection (in moderate amounts) can be a simple way to defuse a defiant outburst. Simply placing your hand on your child’s shoulder, back, or cheek may be calming, especially if she has under-responsive SPD or ADHD. If your child allows, gently pull her closer to you and give her a firm hug.

Be careful not to force physical affection, though. If your child resists or pulls away from contact, give her time and space.

3. Ask questions calmly.

If your child is ready to talk, ask him a couple of questions about his feelings and give him plenty of time to answer. Some good questions might include:

“Would you like to talk?”
“Are you feeling upset about something?”
“Can you tell me what you’re feeling?”

If your child wants to talk, by all means, listen without interrupting. If your child doesn’t want to talk, respond with “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk now. But if you want to talk about it later, I’ll be ready to listen.”

The Land of Nod, design for kids and people that used to be kids

4. Devote special time to her.

Children who behave in a defiant manner may feel misunderstood or unappreciated. Setting aside one-on-one time to spend with them can help them to feel accepted.

When my defiant child felt bad about himself, he tended to isolate himself from the rest of us: shutting down, refusing to talk or play with his siblings, or intentionally misbehaving. But when I scheduled a special time for the two of us to spend together, his defiant behavior calmed down considerably. He looked forward to reading and playing together and it gave him something special to talk about with his siblings later on.

5. Say nothing.

Sometimes, though, the best way to show love to your defiant child is to say absolutely nothing. If he is having a severe meltdown, you might just have to wait it out.

Go about your normal duties, but try to stay nearby where he can see you. If you walk away, he might feel neglected and try to come up with ways to “force” you to pay attention to him (acting out, throwing a tantrum, etc.). Trust me: I know that walking away does not work.

Books about Parenting Defiant Children:

There are some excellent books about parenting defiant children available these days. Here are some of the ones we’ve found over the years. (Affiliate links are provided here for convenience. For details, see our Disclosure Policy.)

1. 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child – Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. (My personal favorite!)

2. The Defiant Child: A Parent’s Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder – Douglas A. Riley

3. Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior – Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D.

4. The Explosive Child – Ross W. Greene, Ph.D.

5. Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach – Howard Glasser & Jennifer Easley

Parenting a defiant child is difficult, extremely difficult. But when we just try to show love to them, even when they’re defiant, we can make a huge difference in their behavior and their self-esteem.

Oh – and remember when my son rushed at me, trying to force me to look at him? You know what I did? I looked at him and I asked him if he wanted to tell me why he was upset. Then I hugged him.

You know what he did? He hugged me back and started to cry. Then he started to talk and I listened. And suddenly, he didn’t seem quite so defiant anymore.

Are you parenting a defiant child? What have you found to be helpful? Share your tips in the comments! And be sure to read these other parenting posts!

For more parenting encouragement, follow our board “Parenting with Joy” on Pinterest!

How to Keep a Homeschool Tantrum from Derailing Your School Day

September 24, 2014 by Selena Robinson 10 Comments

Homeschooling moms have the dual challenge of serving as parents AND teachers during the day, which means we often have to deal with a homeschool tantrum or two on occasion. Yay! Not.

When a child throws a temper tantrum, it can disrupt the entire school day. And if you’re homeschooling more than one child, it can distract the other kids from their lessons, make you angry, and throw off your whole schedule for the week. Since we’re homeschooling children with ADHD, it’s essential that we stick to our regular school schedule, so I just cannot afford to have the school day disrupted by a temper tantrum.

Today, I thought I’d share a few of the things that have worked for us in keeping a homeschool tantrum at bay. I’ll also be including a few things that did NOT work, just for comparison. 🙂

Tips for Dealing with a Homeschool Tantrum

Find out what’s wrong. Before you even attempt to handle the tantrum, try to learn why your child is upset. Trust me, this can be difficult. Especially if they’re screaming incoherently at the time. Is your child frustrated because he can’t understand a concept? Is she feeling overwhelmed? Ask your child what’s wrong and then try to listen patiently as he explains.

What does NOT work: Shouting at your child to “Be quiet!”

Establish a regular schedule. Pooh, our oldest boy, is extremely cranky in the mornings. He tends to sleep restlessly and he frequently has night terrors. As a result, he really needs time to wake up at his own pace without being rushed. So, we decided to begin school a bit later in the day to avoid making him concentrate at an early hour. Before I realized that was a problem, he had tantrums almost every day. When we stick with the schedule, though, he rests better and he behaves better.

What does NOT work: Beginning school at a different time each morning

Keep right on teaching. This one is probably the most important. No matter what you do, continue with your lesson plan to the extent you possibly can. Naturally, if you have a kicking and screaming child in your school room, you may have to stop to remove him or her to a safe place. (I’ve had to do that on occasion.) But, if you drop your lesson plan completely, you’ve just told your child that he or she can make school “stop” by throwing a fit. Once you send that message, you’ll have a hard time teaching every day afterward.

What does NOT work: Stopping your lesson for that day

When I follow these three tips, temper tantrums in our family become minor hiccups instead of major obstacles. How do you handle homeschool tantrums? Do you have any suggestions for how to manage temper tantrums while homeschooling? Let us know in the comments!

Don’t miss these other parenting and homeschooling posts!

Get more parenting tips on my Parenting with Joy board on Pinterest!