Good morning everyone! Today, I wanted to share something I’ve just realized about my parenting and homeschooling style. Hopefully, this will be of some help to some of you out there as well.

Yesterday, Jay and I took the kids to the library. If you’ve been reading our blog for a while, then you already know how much we love visiting our local library. We probably go at least every couple of weeks and, now that the boys are learning to read, we’re getting more books than ever before.

The last time we went, Jay made a comment about how Tigger needed to learn how to find her own books and how to speak with the librarian for assistance. Before he said that, I had honestly never thought about it. (Mind you – I went to public school during the elementary years and I visited my school library every day. I still didn’t think about the importance of learning those skills, though.)

So, when we went yesterday, I took Tigger aside and showed her how to use the library’s online catalog to find her favorite book series and authors. Then we walked down the aisles and we practiced finding the authors by last name. She had a lot of trouble focusing on what I asked her to do, though, because she had never done it before. My almost nine-year-old was unable to locate a book in the children’s section using alphabetical order. Why? Because I’ve always found books for her and then handed them to her to read after we got home. I don’t think of myself as a helicopter parent, so why was I so accustomed to performing this simple task for her?

And that’s when I had a realization…..

Being Preoccupied Can Have the Same Negative Effect as Being Overprotective

I’ve taken Tigger, Roo, and Pooh to the library more times than I can count over the years. Why hadn’t I taught them how to find their own books, look for their favorite authors, or talk to the children’s librarian? I was too busy. Too busy keeping everyone quiet. Too busy keeping everyone where I could see them. And even worse, too busy trying to select the books that I felt they needed to read, rather than exploring the joy of reading together.

By insisting on following a specific household routine or by focusing too intently on getting “everything done”, I’ve been unconsciously handicapping my children. I’ve been holding onto my comfortable ways of doing things, and in the process, holding onto their hands for far too long. Tigger will be approaching her pre-teen years before I know it and it’s entirely possible that I’ve been so lost in the daily details of parenting, working, and running a household that I could leave her unprepared for that part of her life.

So, I’m learning how to let go…of my old habits, my old ways of thinking, and my obsession over the daily to-do lists. After all, the Bible clearly says, “Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties.” (Matthew 6:34)  Instead, I’m going to focus on mindful parenting that will help me prepare my children for their futures. This way, when it’s time to let go of their hands completely, they’ll be strong enough to fly on their own.

Are any of you struggling with preoccupied parenting? How have you broken out of this mindset and become a more purposeful parent? Let us know in the comments! Keep on learning!

Good morning all! Thanks for stopping back by to see what we’re up to today! We’ve recently had an epiphany about extracurricular activities that we wanted to share with you all.

Tigger has been enrolled in gymnastics classes off and on for the past three years. We initially enrolled her because she was extremely flexible but also extremely clumsy and we wanted her to learn some coordination and balance. I remember her first day well. She cried the entire class and wouldn’t leave my side to go out on the floor with the group. (It was mortifying.)

Eventually, though, she got used to the class environment and started enjoying it. And, sure enough, her balance got better, she started learning how to take instruction from adults other than me, and she became comfortable with the other students. Mission accomplished! Or so I thought.

Every spring, the class holds a performance where they show off everything they’ve learned. The picture you see above is from Tigger’s first performance. As you can see, she got a trophy, as did all the other kids. But if you look at her face, you can see something’s not quite right about her smile. That’s because she twisted her ankle partway through the performance. While this is a perfectly normal thing to happen during a gymnastics performance, we were surprised that it happened because she said nothing to us until it was over.

She wanted to return to classes, so we re-enrolled her the following fall. And when it was time for the annual performance, she did well through the entire rotation until the final apparatus. This time, she fell and broke her leg. Christopher Robin ended up carrying her out of the gym and directly to the ER. She did get her trophy, though.

This past fall, she was anxious to get back to classes once her cast came off, so we enrolled her again. Since we initially started, though, the class sizes have gotten huge and the students now outnumber the instructors by at least 15 or 20 to 1. Which isn’t the safest thing in the world to me. A couple of weeks ago, she twisted her ankle yet again. However, when she told her coach about it, he told her to “take a break”. That’s it. Not to go tell her parents. Not to sit down and elevate her leg. “Take a break”.

Tigger also told us that she had gotten tired before she injured herself, but that she didn’t think she could say anything since she was supposed to finish her rotation. Christopher Robin and I were livid. And then we realized that it’s not the instructor’s job to watch out for her. It’s our job. So, this will be the last year she does gymnastics – at least at that facility. We’re not trying to raise an Olympian, after all.

Jesus made an excellent point at Luke 14:28: “Who of ​you​ that wants to build a tower does not first sit down and calculate the expense, to see if he has enough to complete it?” Well, we’ve ‘counted the cost’ of this particular extra-curricular activity and, for now, it’s too high for our child.

Have you ever had to re-evaluate the value of an extra-curricular activity? How have you balanced these experiences with your overall goal as a family? Let us know in the comments!

Keep on learning!

If you look at the typical homeschooling family, you’ll probably see a mom teaching the children while the father is busy working to provide for everyone. Naturally, then, a lot of the homeschooling books and articles are aimed at helping us moms stay organized, encouraged, and motivated to teach our kids.

This is great, because we really need the support system of other homeschooling moms to help us keep going. However….

We really shouldn’t underestimate the value of a supportive homeschooling spouse. Personally, I’d never have been able to even attempt homeschooling our brood if my husband (seen above with the littles) wasn’t so supportive of both my intentions and my efforts to teach our kids.

We made the decision to homeschool from birth through high school (as long as it’s humanly possible) and it really does take both of us to make that happen.

Here are a few reasons why homeschooling parents need their spouses’ support:

• Supportive spouses prevent burnout – When the entire responsibility for educating our children falls completely on us, it’s natural to get exhausted and worn out quickly. If I had to bear the brunt of all the subjects, lessons, and activities on my own, I would have given up homeschooling long ago. Having a spouse who’s willing to step in and help makes all the difference in the world.

• Supportive spouses help us feel confident in our teaching ability – Most of us are not professional teachers, so we may feel unsure about our teaching skills from time to time. Even some professional teachers who take up homeschooling find that their education and training don’t really translate to the homeschool environment. When your spouse believes in your ability to teach and encourages you to continue, it gives you confidence that you are well qualified to give your kids the education they need.

• Supportive spouses reinforce our teachings with the kids – I can recall many days where I would spend the morning going over a lesson and my husband would come home and quiz the kids on what we discussed. At first, I felt like he was testing me to see if I had actually “done school” that day. But, he was actually checking on them to see if they were giving me the attention and respect that they should during class. He would even follow up on how they viewed what they were learning and help them see the value of it in their everyday lives. Those reminders help our kids view me as a person who deserves their attention, not just during school but all the time.

• Supportive spouses provide a definitive answer to doubters – I’m sure you’ve faced your share of naysayers who, while well-intentioned, may make you feel awful about your choice to homeschool. They may comment on our “socialization issues” or a perceived “academic gap” between what we do and what kids in the school system do. Having a partner who believes in homeschooling and is willing to defend it stops most of these comments in their tracks. I’ve been particularly grateful for my husband’s support in this area over the years.

Do you have a supportive homeschooling spouse? How has he or she been a partner to you during your homeschooling journey? Be sure to let him or her know how much you value them and then tell us about it in the comments!

Keep on learning!