If you’ve ever mentioned the word homeschooling in public, you’ve probably heard at least one person express concern about “socialization”. True, these well-meaning individuals may not use the actual word, but they probably say things like this:

“Don’t they need to be around some other children their own age?”

“They need to get away from Mommy and Daddy and see what it’s really like out there.”

“If you don’t let them to get used to other kids, they’re not going to know how to talk to people.”

“You’re sheltering them from the real world by keeping them at home with you.”

It can be tempting to respond to these concerns with a snarky answer. Maybe something like “You spent time around other children and you clearly don’t know how to talk to people yet.” (Okay, that might be just MY personal fantasy response.) But there’s a hint of truth behind those statements.

All children need socialization, including homeschoolers. Interestingly, the definition of the word “socialize” is “to make social; especially, to fit or train for a social environment”. The difference for homeschooling families is in how we choose to provide training that for them.

Yes, Homeschoolers Need Socialization

I’ve heard some homeschooling parents argue that children don’t need socialization with other children at all. They might say that kids get plenty of socialization by talking to their neighbors and acquaintances through the course of the day. Speaking as a homeschooling graduate, I have to respectfully disagree with that sentiment.

I was taught at home from the age of 11 until graduation and I spent quite a bit of time talking with adults on a regular basis. In fact, I eventually became more comfortable with adults than I was with my peers. That’s fine in itself. The problem came, though, when I attended the first day of college. I took one step into the Student Lounge and nearly had a panic attack. I hadn’t been around a large group of people my own age in years and it was a terrifying experience. So I do believe that homeschooled children need socialization with all kinds of people: adults, older kids, younger kids, and their peers. Talking to the cashier at the grocery store just isn’t going to cut it.

Creating Socialization Opportunities Outside the Home

How do we find ways to get our children out and around during the course of homeschooling? Simple. Make it part of the school day. Check out the activity calendar for any local attractions in your area and make it a point to visit on days that are set aside for children or homeschoolers. We’ve gotten to attend museum days and public storytelling events around our area and our kids have enjoyed being out and around others. We also belong to an active homeschooling group that arranges park days, support meet-ups, and field trips.

During these activities, the kids have learned some valuable things they can’t at home – how to stand in line, how to sit quietly in a group (even when others are talking), how to speak up to ask for assistance when needed, and how to listen despite distractions. These are important skills that they’ll need throughout life.

Encouraging Socialization Inside the Family

Of course, all this time training our children to interact with other people won’t be worth a thing if they can’t interact well with each other. Good socialization habits begin in the home and, as parents, it’s our job to help our kids learn how to treat one another with respect, settle disputes, and show concern. Our two oldest children, Tigger and Pooh, have gotten into several spats over the years. He looks up to her, but doesn’t really want her to know it. She wants his approval, but tries to keep that a secret. It’s a never-ending saga.

Jay caught on to the pattern between the two of them early on and he’s worked with them constantly, trying to help them speak to each other honestly and with kindness. As a result, the daily squabbles have dwindled down to a couple times a week. We’re confident that, with time and training based on Bible principles, their relationship will become stronger. (We fully expect a similar dynamic between Roo and Piglet in the future, though.)

Solving the socialization dilemma doesn’t mean separating our kids from society and it doesn’t mean dropping them off into a group of their peers without preparation. We can do it by making opportunities to train them for social activities. And all that takes is being an involved homeschooling parent.

This post is part of the “Homeschooling and the S-Word (Socialization)” linkup at iHomeschool Network! Click over to read great posts about homeschooling and socialization from our fellow bloggers!

Yep, I said it. I’m holding my child back a grade this year. And I don’t feel bad in the least for doing it. The interesting thing is – I’m not required to do this. She didn’t fail a test that resulted in her having to repeat a grade. She’s not exceptionally behind on anything. In fact, she’s probably ahead on several subjects, especially reading and language. So, why am I choosing to repeat a grade with her?

It’s mostly because of me. Last year was a very trying one in our homeschool. My husband’s employer suddenly became extremely demanding, requiring him to work 12-hour swing shifts five or six days a week. For about three or four months straight, he actually worked more than 70 hours weekly. To make things more difficult, I was also working full-time from home. To complicate matters further, we found out we were pregnant with Piglet, who was a wonderful gift but also a completely unexpected one.

As a result, I wasn’t as prepared for the school year as I would liked to have been. Third grade is a pretty important year for kids. It’s a marked transition from the seatwork of early grades to the critical thinking requirements of upper elementary grades. I don’t feel that Tigger is as prepared as she could be to move on beyond that and I have no desire to thrust her into that situation simply to follow a certain timeline. On this matter, I’m speaking from personal experience.

When I was 11, my mom decided that it would probably be best for me to be homeschooled. I liked elementary school, but I was excited about the opportunity to learn at home on my own schedule so I was looking forward to it. I took the placement test for Calvert School and the teachers suggested that I skip sixth grade and possibly even seventh, because it appeared that I was advanced enough to do so. My mom agreed but decided that I should go ahead and take seventh grade.

That’s when I found out that a lot of important math and English skills are taught in sixth grade.  I know this because when the curriculum asked me to complete a basic pre-algebra equation or to diagram a sentence, I had no idea what those concepts meant. I struggled through seventh grade and eventually finished it, but it took me two years, completely erasing any “gains” I had made by skipping sixth grade.

The good thing for Tigger is that we started her in school a year early. Based on her birthday, she would just now be going into third grade in public school as well, so she’s technically not going to be “behind.” The truth is, though, I wouldn’t mind if she was. My concern is making sure my child is prepared for what is expected of her, not turning her into a case study for gifted homeschoolers.

Have you ever thought about having your child repeat a grade? Do you even bother teaching by grades at all? I’ve love to hear what you think in the comments. Keep on learning!