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Homeschooling When Mom Has ADHD

October 17, 2014 by Selena Robinson 25 Comments

It’s very ironic to be writing this post tonight. (In characteristic ADHD fashion, I’m writing this about four hours before it’s supposed to go live.) Today was the first day that I actually visited an elementary school and inquired about enrolling my kids. I’ve called a few times before, but I’ve never actually gone up there.

And that is just one of the struggles of homeschooling for moms who have ADHD: consistent and unrelenting self-doubt.

In our family, both my husband and I, as well as our three oldest children, have ADHD. Personally, I had no idea that I even had it until about a year ago. That was one of the most jarring realizations of my life, because it caused me to re-examine my “normal” behaviors as more than just personality quirks.

Many of us are homeschooling kids with ADHD. But what is like to be a homeschooling mom with ADHD?

How My ADHD “Hid” From Me

First, I should explain that I am pretty much the definition of the undiagnosed ADHD girl. Sari Solden, in the book “Women with Attention Deficit Disorder“, describes the contrast between girls and boys who have ADHD during their school years.

While boys tend to show their ADHD through aggression and misbehavior, girls tend to show it by daydreaming and withdrawing. In public school, though, as long as you’re quiet and do a fairly good job of completing your work, no one will ever suspect you have ADHD.

That was me. I’m a huge bookworm, which I thought meant I couldn’t possibly have ADHD. I am capable of sitting still for extremely long periods of time, except I’m probably tapping my feet or rubbing my hands together. I daydream, but I would set aside time especially for that each day so it wouldn’t interfere with my classes. (I still do that, by the way.) I got excellent grades in school and I had a pretty normal social life.

What It’s Like to Be a Homeschooling Mom with ADHD

But as I’ve gotten older, my symptoms have worsened. I am chronically overwhelmed, usually due to a tendency to overcommit myself to projects. I tend toward what Dr. Amen calls Type 3 ADD, which means that I go into hyperfocus just about every day.

During my periods of hyperfocus, I block out everything while I work. And I mean, everything. Children run through the house screaming, dishes and laundry pile up, I go without food for six hours or more.

Naturally, this makes homeschooling a challenge. I often forget to plan our lessons in advance, which makes it hard to remember what to cover each day. I tend to be inconsistent in following our schedule, so I have one “good” day, typically followed by one “bad” day. The kids, who also have ADHD, also tend to be inconsistent. Unfortunately, our “good” days rarely align.

I constantly second-guess and doubt myself – not just because it’s hard for me to divide my attention between all four kids, but because my tendency to overcommit makes it almost impossible to live up to all of my obligations. And honestly, as my symptoms become worse, I’m not even sure that I will continue homeschooling for the long run. But that’s a topic for another day.

Generally, I give a few tips or suggestions for managing these kinds of things, but today I just wanted to say a little bit about what it’s like to attempt to manage this disorder in myself and in my kids. We’ll talk about solutions in the next couple of posts. 🙂

Are any of you homeschooling children with ADHD while dealing with the disorder yourself? How does it make homeschooling a challenge for you? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments!

This post is part of the 31 Days of ADHD Homeschooling series! Stop by tomorrow for Day 18: Homeschool Organization Tips for the Mom with ADHD!

Homeschooling Helps for All Ages with Family Fun Friday!

October 16, 2014 by Selena Robinson 8 Comments

Hi everyone! It’s time for yet another edition of Family Fun Friday! Last week, we featured some great language arts for homeschool resources. This week, we’re highlighting homeschooling helps for the entire family, even Mom!

If you’re a blogger, be sure to follow our co-hosts and link up your own posts! You could be featured next week! 😉

Keep Reading…

Building Confidence in Children with ADHD

October 16, 2014 by Selena Robinson 2 Comments

ADHD is largely described as a negative condition – something that prevents kids and adults from being “normal”. It’s not surprising, then, that a lot of kids (and adults) who have ADHD suffer from low self-esteem.

Since many people don’t understand what’s happening inside the brain of someone who has ADHD, they might treat kids who have it as if they “can’t do” the same things “regular” people do. When kids pick up on that feeling, it can be devastating to their self-confidence.

As parents, we need to learn how to help our kids with ADHD to build self-esteem. If they develop a healthy view of themselves while young, they can learn how to use ADHD to their advantage to find a career they love, make good friends, and overcome obstacles. Here are a few suggestions about how we can build confidence in our kids with ADHD! We’re also featuring a giveaway of the wonderful book Raising Girls with ADHD!

Tips for Building Self Esteem in Kids with ADHD

Talk to them about ADHD.

One way we can avoid the “stigma” of ADHD is to talk about it openly with our kids. At first, I was worried that our kids would feel weird or strange, but they were actually relieved.

Tigger was glad to know that she had something real that explained why her brain couldn’t seem to concentrate at times or why she felt what she calls a “jumpy” feeling when she tries to sit still. I actually wished I had talked to her about it sooner.

Focus on the positive.

It’s easy to obsess over the negative symptoms of ADHD, but that can be extremely damaging to our kids’ self-esteem. In Raising Girls with ADHD, the writers encourage parents to focus on the positive qualities of their daughters. There’s a wonderful list of qualities for us to check off at the beginning and there is something there that EVERY child with ADHD has.

For Tigger, I picked quite a few, including: lively, imaginative, animated, helpful, spirited, creative, and eager. I loved how that encouraged me to think of the “bonuses” that come along with ADHD. 🙂 When we see ADHD in a positive light, it’s easier for us to convey that to our kids.

Help them set realistic goals.

We talked about setting learning goals for kids with ADHD a few days ago. Doing this is essential to building their self-esteem. Since developing a healthy amount of self-esteem is already challenging for young girls, adding ADHD to the mix can make it even more difficult. Raising Girls with ADHD has an entire section dedicated to helping our daughters build self-esteem, and one of the suggestions is to “Set small goals.”

Rather than focusing on one large task, help them break it into smaller, more manageable chunks that they can accomplish quickly. As they complete one task, then another, they’ll find it easier to continue instead of giving up at the first sign of trouble.

Now for the great news!!!!

We’re giving away a copy of the book “Raising Girls with ADHD” from Prufrock Press! To enter, use the Giveaway Tools widget below! (Please be aware that the book will be shipped 6 to 8 weeks from the close of the giveaway.)

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This post is part of the 31 Days with ADHD Homeschooling series! Stop by tomorrow to read Day 17: Homeschooling When Mom Has ADHD!

31 Days of ADHD Homeschooling - Look! We're Learning!

Choosing the Best ADHD Homeschool Curriculum for You

October 15, 2014 by Selena Robinson 11 Comments

Before we found out our kids had ADHD, I tried a heap of different homeschool curriculum programs with them. In the past, I’ve talked about the Bermuda Triangle that is our homeschool closet. You know, curriculum goes in, but it doesn’t come out. 🙂

Having spent lots of money over the years and, admittedly, wasted more than necessary, I thought I’d share a couple of things I’ve learned in my efforts to find the best ADHD homeschool curriculum for our family. Hopefully, you can use these tips to find the best curriculum for your kids!

How to Find the Best ADHD Homeschool Curriculum for Your Family

Look for a program that is flexible.

One of the most important qualities parents of ADHD kids need is flexibility. If you’re homeschooling kids with ADHD, you’ll need a curriculum that is flexible as well.

As a result, I stay away from programs that are designed to be finished in a certain timeframe. If the list of topics is rigorous and requires that we maintain a consistent speed in order to finish it on time, I keep right on looking. I already know that the possibility of my kids completing the same amount of work each day is remote.

I prefer to use curriculum that allows us to go at our own speed. That way, I won’t feel the pressure of trying to get it “all covered” by a certain date and I won’t pass that anxiety on to the kids.

Find a curriculum that is already organized.

This part is super important. Disorganization is one of the biggest issues for kids (and parents) with ADHD. If the task of organizing the program in its entirety is left up to you, you may never get around to actually doing it.

You’ll probably need to adjust a few things to suit your kids, but if the program has a thorough outline, you’ll have a starting point for creating your lesson plans.

For example, we’re using Pearson Education EnVision Math with Tigger this year. The book already has the necessary concepts listed and they are structured in a way that naturally builds, so that I don’t have to worry about Tigger having to face concepts she’s unprepared for.

But, I divide the lessons into two or more days, which keeps Tigger from having to spend a long time on one subject. If I had the job of collecting all of the objectives, organizing them into lessons, and then deciding what to cover when, we still wouldn’t have started math this year….lol.

How did you choose the best ADHD homeschool curriculum for your family? Let us know in the comments!

Want to learn more about homeschooling kids with ADHD? Try these posts!

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How to Get Your ADHD Child to Learn a Subject He Hates

October 14, 2014 by Selena Robinson 1 Comment

If you went to public school as a child, you probably had a few subjects you liked, a few you disliked, and one or two that you absolutely hated. Mine was Social Studies. Oh, how I hated Social Studies. The book was boring, the facts I had to memorize were boring, and the class was right after lunch. It was a recipe for disaster.

If you’re homeschooling kids with ADHD, you’ve probably noticed that there is at least one subject that they absolutely hate. If it’s an elective like a foreign language, you might be able to skip it or replace it with something else. But if it’s an essential subject (like Social Studies), you’ll still have to find a way to cover it.

Learning a boring or uninteresting subject is a challenge for any child, but for kids with ADHD it can be even harder. Since the ADHD brain already struggles with organizing thoughts and completing assignments, kids who have it can find it almost impossible to pay attention in a class they hate.

Here are a few tips to help you get your child with ADHD to learn a subject, even if they hate it!

How to Help ADHD Kids Learn Subjects They Hate

Make sure your expectations are reasonable.

First, look at your learning expectations for your child. We talked about the importance of helping our kids with ADHD set learning goals, but those goals have to be reasonable and well within their ability. For example, Tigger hated math for several years. I tried computer programs, I tried worksheets, and I tried quizzes. Nothing was working.

Then I realized that I was expecting her to complete far too many problems at a time AND I wasn’t actually teaching her the math lesson for the day. I was relying too much on the workbook and the computer program to do it for me. Now we’re using a standard-issue math textbook, I’m teaching her each concept, and I’m assigning her fewer problems per day. She’s actually thriving in math for the first time ever. 🙂

Give them space and time.

No one likes to do work with the feeling of someone constantly over their shoulder. Our kids with ADHD are no different. While they often need a little more supervision and guidance than other kids, they also need to feel relaxed in order to concentrate.

Some kids do well on deadlines, but others do not. In our family, Pooh needs a deadline in order to get him to finish his work, but Tigger and Roo freeze up and panic when they think the clock is running. For them, I use the page or problem deadline instead of the clock. I say “Let’s just finish this page” or “Let’s just finish this row of problems.” Then they relax and get to work, because they can see the end in sight.

Involve the kids in teaching.

As I got older, I found out that social studies is actually human geography. I took human geography in college last fall and I loved it. The subject matter didn’t change, but the format did. When I read the material and watched relevant videos about it on my own, I understood it and became interested. It was sitting in my classroom listening to the teacher read from the book that killed it for me.

We can do a lot to help our kids with ADHD develop an interest in a subject by just involving them in teaching. Let the kids stand up and read from the book for a few minutes. Ask them to make a quiz based on the material that YOU will have to take. Show them how to write an outline and assign them to teach the next chapter. When they feel part of the lesson, they’re far more likely to enjoy it.

Have you dealt with this situation in your homeschool? Do you have any tips for encouraging kids with ADHD to pay attention in a subject they dislike? Tell us about your experiences in the comments!

This post is part of the 31 Days of ADHD Homeschooling series! Stop by tomorrow for Day 15: Choosing the Best Homeschool Curriculum for ADHD Homeschooling!

Inspiring the Unmotivated ADHD Child to Learn

October 13, 2014 by Selena Robinson 3 Comments

Have you ever had a day when your child just didn’t want to do anything related to school? And I mean, nothing. No writing, no reading, no drawing, no math, no nothing.

Since we’re currently homeschooling three kids, there’s usually one that is just not in the mood for school that day. Initially, I thought that I should just give them a day or two off, but when those uninspired days stretch into weeks, then we have a problem.

All kids need to form connections to what they’re learning, but children with ADHD need to do so even more. Developing a strong interest in the subject at hand is generally the best way to help kids with ADHD maintain their focus. (This explains why some kids with ADHD can watch TV for hours on end, but won’t sit still to read.)

What can you do when your ADHD child is feeling uninspired? Here are a few suggestions to help you motivate your ADHD child to learn!

Image: danilkorolev / Dollar Photo Club

How to Inspire Motivation in ADHD Kids

“Strew” Their Path with Various Subjects

If you’re familiar with the philosophy of unschooling, you already know all about “strewing”. (If you’re unfamiliar with it, this is a great book about unschooling.) We’re not unschoolers, but I love the art of strewing our kids’ paths with all kinds of things. I might get a book that covers a new topic or have the kids watch a short documentary about a part of the world we’ve never covered. There’s usually something they see that makes them want to know more.

Strewing is especially helpful for preparing the ground when you’re ready to introduce a new concept. For instance, if I know we’re going to talk about East Asia in an upcoming geography lesson, I might learn how to say a few words in Japanese and mention them at the dinner table. Then, the kids generally want to know more about Japan, which makes the subject much more interesting when we cover it in depth later.

Focus on Their Strengths

If your child has already expressed specific interests, make those the focus of your lessons for a while. The unit study approach is great for this. My boys are in a huge construction phase right now. Just about anything with a dump truck or a cement mixer on it is right up their alley.

So, we’ve been reading books about construction equipment, looking at videos of the building process, and making shape structures. I’ll probably find a way to weave in the history of construction, basic Spanish words and ASL signs about building, and more so I can cover multiple subjects.

Help Them Set Goals

We talked about the importance of setting learning goals for kids with ADHD yesterday. Goals are an extremely helpful way to motivate kids to learn. They can be especially helpful for kids who have short attention spans. When we sit down to go over a subject that I know one of the kids doesn’t like, I let them know right away how much we’ll be covering.

For example, Roo doesn’t have much interest in math, so when we begin a lesson on Khan Academy I tell him, “We’ll do your mastery challenge and then we’ll do review one concept.” That way, he knows how long he’ll have to sit down and pay attention. When I forget to do this, I hear “How much longer, Moooommmm?” for the entire lesson. 🙂

How do you handle it when your kids with ADHD don’t feel like learning? Tell us about your experience in the comments!

This post is part of the 31 Days of ADHD Homeschooling series! Stop by tomorrow for Day 14: How to Get Your ADHD Child to Learn a Subject He Hates!

Try these other tips for teaching children with ADHD!

And see more ideas on my ADHD Homeschooling Pinterest board!

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Setting Learning Goals for Children with ADHD

October 12, 2014 by Selena Robinson 1 Comment

I am a huge proponent of goal-setting. Since I have adult ADHD, I usually need regular goals to help me stay focused on what I’m trying to accomplish. As a result, I try to set learning goals for my kids with ADHD as well.

Goal-setting, though, only works if we consider our kids’ unique situations. That’s just another vote in favor for homeschooling, because we can set different goals for each child that are specifically designed to help them improve in their schoolwork.

Here are a few tips I use to help set learning goals for children with ADHD! Read on to see if these tips work for your family!

Be sure to stop by and read our best tips for homeschooling with ADHD as well!

How to Set Learning Goals for Children with ADHD

1. Make sure the goals are attainable.

The most important part of goal-setting for ADHD kids is choosing reasonable goals. Simply getting started can feel overwhelming to the ADHD brain, so if the process is too intimidating, your kids won’t even want to try.

Have the kids start with small, reachable goals that are catered to their levels. If you have a kindergartner that loves to read, set a goal of finishing one easy reader per day. But if you have a kindergartner who doesn’t love reading, set a goal of reading for five minutes per day. That way, there’s no pressure for kids to compete with their siblings.

Take-away: Have the kids start with small, reachable goals that are catered to their levels.

2. Have them choose their own deadlines.

Some kids with ADHD do well with pressure and work best on a deadline. Others don’t. If your kids like deadlines, have them decide when they think they can accomplish them and then write them on a calendar.

Resist the urge to choose a goal date for them, unless their goal is something ridiculous such as “Learn to multiply and divide by the end of first grade.” In that case, you might want to help them set more realistic expectations.

You might also want to consider a very small incentive to spur them along. Something simple and (preferably) inexpensive, such as additional play time, a new book, or extra alone time with Mom may be a strong motivator.

Take-away: Ask kids when they think they can accomplish their goals and shoot for that date.

3. Work along with them.

I’ve also found that my kids work the best when they feel that I’m involved in the process with them. So when they set goals, I check in with them everyday and ask about how they’re doing. I also ask about what challenges they’re facing and how they think they can overcome any obstacles to reach the goal.

In some cases, I actually sit in with the kids as they work. If Tigger is reading a new book for an assignment, I might have her read on the sofa next to me as I’m working. If Pooh is working on handwriting, I generally sit at the table with him. Just my presence can be enough to help them stay on task.

Roo is my reluctant reader, so we set a goal of reading five minutes per day together. He looks forward to our time and he’s developing an interest in reading!

Take-away: Work with your children as they reach for their goals.

How do you help try to set learning goals for children with ADHD in your family? Do you use any kind of incentives to motivate them? Tell us about it in the comments!

This post is part of the 31 Days of ADHD Homeschooling series! Be sure to stop by tomorrow for Day 13: Inspiring the Unmotivated ADHD Child to Learn!

Did you enjoy this post? Stop by to read even more tips on ADHD homeschooling!

Plus, follow my ADHD Tips Pinterest board for more support!

Using the Charlotte Mason Homeschool Method for ADHD Kids

October 11, 2014 by Selena Robinson 8 Comments

In general, we practice an eclectic homeschooling style in our family. We tend to collect resources from all kinds of teaching styles and use them as we see fit. But – if I had to choose a single approach to follow, it would probably be the Charlotte Mason method. We use more elements of this homeschooling approach for our kids with ADHD than we do of any other style.

One of the reasons I love the Charlotte Mason homeschool method is because it follows some of the basic guidelines for homeschooling kids with ADHD in the first place, including short lessons in language arts, a relaxed approach to science and handwriting, and an emphasis on multi-sensory learning. But we still have to make a few adjustments for our kids.

Here’s a look at how I adapt the Charlotte Mason homeschool method for ADHD kids! And if you enjoy this post, don’t miss my list of ADHD homeschool schedule ideas that may work for you!

How I Adapt the Charlotte Mason Method for ADHD

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Short Lessons

Charlotte Mason believed in keeping subject lessons short. Her belief was that kids should cover multiple subjects in a single day – sometimes 10 or more. Naturally, I don’t try to cover 10 subjects each school day with my kids.

I do stick with the short lessons, however. Mason called for 15-20 minutes in grade school and 30 to 45 minutes in high school. We’ve found that those subject lengths are ideal for our kids. But instead of covering as many academic subjects as she suggests, I replace several of them with brain breaks that we scatter throughout the day.

By the way, if you’re unfamiliar with the Charlotte Mason method, the book “A Charlotte Mason Education: A Homeschooling How To Manual” is an excellent introduction.

Copywork

Rather than teaching spelling, penmanship, and grammar separately, Charlotte Mason combined them into two main disciplines: copywork and living books. Daily copywork has been a lifesaver in our house. We literally begin every school day with it.

Charlotte Mason tended to use literature excerpts or scriptures from the Bible as the basis for her copywork. We copy one scripture or part of a scripture per day. I have all of the kids write the same verse. (Tigger writes it once in print and once in cursive.) I copy the verse on the chalkboard and leave it there until everyone is finished.

Since kids with ADHD tend to rush through their work, I deliberately shorten the assignment so that we can focus on writing neatly, rather than writing for length. Pooh generally has to write his twice, because he still insists on rushing through it, but we’ll get there!

Living Books

Reading “living books” is a cornerstone of the Charlotte Mason method. Mason believed that children should read books that were of high literary quality and stay away from what she called “twaddle”. I don’t hold to that standard as strongly. I think that a little twaddle now and then can give kids a break from concentrating so hard, which is sometimes exactly what the ADHD brain needs.

But we do read literary classics with the kids. To keep their interest, I try to find editions of books such as The Wind and the Willows that have pictures inside. As above, I also keep the reading times short, no more than 15 or 20 minutes for a read-aloud session. They look forward to storytime every afternoon!

Nature Study

I have to admit: I am not a huge fan of the outdoors. I believe strongly in protecting the environment and caring for the earth, but I love my couch and my air conditioning. 🙂 So nature study has always been a struggle for me.

For kids with ADHD, though, spending time outside can be a natural calming agent. When we do nature study, I try to tie it in with an activity such as making journal entries of our observations or taking pictures of what we see. Our kids always enjoy it!

Have you tried the Charlotte Mason homeschool method with your kids? Do you think it’s a good fit for kids with ADHD? Share your thoughts in the comments!

This post is part of our 31 Days of ADHD Homeschooling series! Stop by tomorrow for Day 12: Setting Learning Goals for Children with ADHD!

And check out more ADHD homeschooling inspiration below!

Follow my ADHD Homeschooling Tips board on Pinterest for more suggestions!

The Worst Homeschool Method for ADHD Kids

October 10, 2014 by Selena Robinson 27 Comments

I don’t write many opinionated posts, but I’m going to make an exception today. When I first started homeschooling Tigger, I tried just about every homeschooling method there is. During that time, I found some homeschooling methods that worked and some that didn’t. Today, I’m sharing my experience with the worst of them all.

Now bear in mind, this is just my opinion. 🙂 I’m not a homeschooling expert, but from my own experience, this is the WORST homeschooling method for kids (and parents) with ADHD by far. By far. What horrible, awful, no good, very bad homeschooling method am I talking about?

School at home.

If you don’t know what school at home is, be glad. If you do, you likely agree with me. And if you’re considering homeschooling, allow me to explain why (in my experience) school at the home is the worst homeschooling method for kids with ADHD.

Why School at Home is Awful for Kids with ADHD

School at home requires a strict daily schedule.

The “school at home” homeschooling method is essentially when you use the curriculum and schedule of the public school system at home. When homeschoolers talk about school at home, they’re often describing a school-like setup, complete with desks, chairs, and chalkboard. Most often, school at home also follows the public school system schedule each day.

Now we have a chalkboard, so I’m not anti-school entirely. 🙂 But the school at home schedule is very difficult to adjust for your kids with ADHD. The school day of the local public school system is typically too long for them to sustain their focus, and it can be too much for you to keep up with, especially if you have more than one child.

I tried using a public school system schedule with Tigger once. We lasted for three days. She was burned out, I was burned out, and it took so much of my energy to keep her on task for the whole day that the other kids ended up just running around. Fail.

School at home requires you to become a teacher, not a parent.

The biggest reason why school at home is so terrible for ADHD kids, though, is that it forces you to step into the role of “teacher”. I’m a homeschooling mom, which means I teach, but I am primarily Mom. And when you’re raising kids who have ADHD, it is critical that you remain Mom.

When I was trying to be The Teacher, I was focused on getting through the lesson plan, not helping my children learn. I found myself shouting at Tigger “Hurry up! We have to cover three more subjects today!” That’s pretty much the best way to ensure your child with ADHD does NOT complete her work.

Public school teachers have an extremely difficult job. They are required to cover a certain amount of material that includes a certain amount of educational objectives for a number of children during the year. They are also required to test these children and help them reach certain test scores by the end of year, regardless of their learning challenges. Naturally, their system of education is going to be different than mine.

My only responsibility is to help my kids learn how to learn. Complicating our learning goals with the additional responsibilities of a public school teacher did nothing but frustrate me and the kids. Now that we’re practicing a more relaxed way of homeschooling, they are truly learning, not just covering material and passing standardized tests.

Have you ever tried School at Home? Did you have a similar experience when you used it? Does it work for your family? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!

This post is part of our “31 Days of ADHD Homeschooling” series! Stop by tomorrow for Day 11: Using the Charlotte Mason Method for ADHD Homeschooling!

Don’t miss these other ADHD learning posts!

And don’t forget to follow my ADHD Tips board on Pinterest for more suggestions!

This post is part of the “Homeschool Choices” linkup from iHomeschool Network! Stop by to read my fellow bloggers tips for choosing your homeschooling approach!

Language Arts for Homeschool with Family Fun Friday!

October 9, 2014 by Selena Robinson 6 Comments

We’ve been enjoying co-hosting Family Fun Friday! This week we’re featuring our favorite posts from last week’s linky and they’re all about language arts for homeschoolers!

We’ve mentioned a few homeschool language arts curriculum options before, but this week’s posts include fun activities, stories, and writing ideas to get kids excited about learning!

Be sure to read our co-hosts’ favorite picks from the past week and link up your own posts below!

Keep Reading…